Somewhere Out There
by Lissa88
Summary: Sequel to Like We Never Loved at AllThe Best I Ever Had
1. Chapter 1

Somewhere Out There

Summary: Gil and Cath know that their love is somewhere out there, they just need to find it. Sequel to Like We Never Loved at All/The Best I Ever Had.

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of CSI.

A/N: Gil and Catherine are working in Catherine's office, just to clear things up since this is a POV chapter.

**Chapter 1**

**Gil's POV**

I need to stop looking at her. I know she knows I'm doing it. She keeps looking up and seeing me quickly look down at my papers. This is pathetic. I shouldn't bring it up. There's no point, it happened so many years ago and she'd probably hate me forever if I brought it up.

Still, it's so hard to not wonder, to not think about it. I see her and I automatically think about it. I guess it's apparent I'm not going to get over her. If I haven't done it by now I certainly am never going to. I mean, in those 15 years, I've been on 5 dates with 4 different women. I've only slept with 2 of them. 15 years, 5 dates (not counting the times I've been out with Catherine) and I've only had sex twice. Either I'm very alright with being abstinent or I'm in very deep with Catherine. And considering I keep looking at her and think about that night every time I see her, I think the second one is a safe bet.

She's looking at me now. I can feel it. Her eyes feel like lasers on me. Should I look up? Alright, I'll go for it. Now we're looking at each other, face to face. Maybe I should saying something.

"Cath?"

"Yeah," she answers. Alright, now what do I say? I didn't think that far ahead.

"Uh, nothing." She goes back to her paperwork. That was real smooth of me, wasn't it? Maybe I should try this again.

"Hey, Cath."

"Yes, Gil?" Her answer seems a little more agitated now. Deep breath, I can do this. This is Catherine, she's my best friend. It's not that big of a deal to bring it up.

"Did you..." Now the words are caught in my throat. She's probably thinking that I'm acting so strange.

"Did I... what?"

"Did you ever think about that night?" Alright, it's out of my mouth. Now the ball is in her court. Still, I feel so nauseous about her answer. I mean, what if she doesn't even understand what I said? I didn't elaborate on what "that night" was.

"Sometimes," she says to my surprise. She didn't need me to elaborate? Maybe that means she thinks about it a lot more then she's letting on. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

"Well, what exactly do you... think... about it?" I choose my words carefully.

"Gil, can we not talk about this please? I mean, it happened so long ago. There's no point in opening old scars." There's my answer. It was a painful time to her, she obviously doesn't think of me that way and it was a spontaneous one night stand. It's disappointing, but it's a relief to me also. At least now I have some closure on this situation.

* * *

**Next chappy - Cath's POV**

**I know, it's short. Don't sue.**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Same deal as chapter 1, just this time it's in a different point of view.

**Chapter 2**

**Cath's POV**

He keeps looking at me. I have no clue why. I'm trying not to look back and make this incredibly uncomfortable, but it's an instinct; when someone is staring at you, you want to look back. He's fiddling with his papers a lot. Why does he look so nervous? He looks up a couple of times, like he wants to say something, but then he keeps looking back down. I guess it's best I try to work on the paperwork and ignore it.

Now I'm staring at him. Well, this isn't helping the situation much. I can't tear my eyes away now. He's trying not to look up. I can just barely see his eyes darting up and down, wanting to look up at me. Why can't I move? It's like my entire body has been paralyzed. I can't even blink. He's finally looked up. We're locked in a gaze now and neither one of us is moving. I think he caught the paralysis that I have.

"Cath?" Finally, I would have killed myself if we both stayed silent any longer.

"Yeah." He's taking a while to answer... just spit it out already Gil.

"Uh, nothing." He goes back to his work. He's making me nervous. You can just feel the tension in the air. I don't know why he's tense. I'm tense because I keep thinking of that night. It seems that's all I can think about today. I thought I got it out of my head long enough to do paperwork, but his nervousness is making me think about it. "Hey Cath."

"Yes, Gil?" I think I sounded a little too mean there. I'm just a teensy bit on edge... oh I should give it up. I'm a train wreck. He has something he wants to tell me and he won't say it. It's driving me up the wall with curiosity and even a little bit of fright.

"Did you..." Oh my goodness, this is getting ridiculous. He's making me want to scream.

"Did I... what?"

"Did you ever think about that night?" Wow. That was NOT what I expected to come out of his mouth. I'm trying to control my eyes from popping out of my head. Not only does he remember it, but he's thinking about it at the same time I am. I wonder if he thinks about it as much as I do.

"Sometimes." Liar. I think about it all the time.

"Well, what exactly do you... think... about it?"Oh God, Gil. Don't do this to me. I can't handle this. I don't think I've ever felt this uncomfortable in my life. I need to end this before we both get in to deep.

"Gil, can we not talk about this please? I mean, it happened so long ago. There's no point in opening old scars." Could I be any more of a bitch? That sounded so horrible. He probably thought I really hated being with him, which isn't true. I loved being with him. I hated the guilt I felt afterwards. I just can't go through the emotional roller coaster I went through so long ago. Look at me now. I'm still trying to sort out my feelings about this and it's 15 years later. I don't want to go back to where I was 15 years ago. I got my answer to my question. He remembers it happened. It makes me feel a little better. But I also feel so bad now. I can't talk about it though. It's just so painful.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Okay, so, I was going to use "Somewhere Out There" by Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram (thus the title) but I heard a song recently that I think suits this a lot better. And it goes along with the country theme I had in the other two stories so... And it's an oh-so-fluffy third chapter. I sorta hate myself for it, lol.

Disclaimer: I do not own "I can't unlove you" by Kenny Rogers.

* * *

_Postcards and Letters_

_Pictures made to last forever_

_To be boxed up_

_And tossed away.

* * *

_

Catherine sat outside on her front porch, enjoying the warm, spring morning. There was just barely any light, only a small peak of sun rising from the horizon. She sighed and took a sip of her coffee, thoughts of her earlier conversation with Gil running through her head. Eddie was gone. What was stopping her? It seemed to her that Gil had made what he wanted pretty clear and there was nothing holding her back. She was so scared though. What if it didn't work out? Relationships so rarely work out, and she knew better then to believe that "love conquers all." If love conquered all, she and Gil would have been together years ago. If love truly conquered all, so many other things would be going for her, but love doesn't conquer all and she'd learned that the hard way many times over. She didn't want to have to learn it again. After all, the ones you love hurt you the most.

* * *

_Nic-nacs, souvenirs;_

_In an afternoon, they're out of here._

_They disappear without a trace._

_What they mean to me can never be replaced.

* * *

_

Gil sat in a lawn chair on the balcony of his townhouse. He tried to read his newspaper, but his mind kept wandering. He set the paper down and looked off at the sunrise. "Open old scars." Maybe he was analyzing that phrase too much, but scars are covering an old wound. Was what happened an old wound? Did it hurt her? He had so many unanswered questions, but what could he do? She didn't want to talk about it. Gil heard his telephone ringing and he went inside to answer it.

"Hello?"

* * *

_I can't unthink about you_

_I can't unfeel your touch_

_I can't unhear all the words_

_Unsay all the things that used to mean so much

* * *

_

Catherine heard him pick up and slammed the phone down quickly. She ran her hands through her strawberry-blonde hair and slumped down on her couch, pulling her knees to her chest. "What is wrong with me?" she thought to herself. All he wanted to do was talk about it, it shouldn't be that hard, she thought. She got up, grabbed her keys and rushed out the front door, determined to go through with it.

* * *

_I wish I could unremember _

_Everything my heart's been through._

_I'm finding out it's impossible to do._

_Oh, it's not use._

_I can't unlove you.

* * *

_

Gil heard a small knock at his door and he rose from where he had been watching the news to answer it. He was surprised to find Catherine when he opened the door.

"You want to talk. I think that's a good idea," she said.

"Okay," he replied, opening the door to let her into his home. They both sat on the couch and sat in an awkward silence.

"So... what exactly did you want to talk about?"

"Well," he began, nervously, "what-what do you think about it? Do you regret it?"

"Um... I think it was a mistake, if that's what you're asking."

"Oh," he whispered, sounding disappointed.

"But I don't regret it." He looked up, confused. "Gil, I was married. It shouldn't have happened. But it is a mistake that I would make over again if I had the chance to go back." They were now encased in a comfortable silence, exchanging small smiles. "I'm sorry... that I didn't want to talk to you about this at work. I probably sounded a lot harsher than I meant to. You just caught me really off-guard. What we had that night was... incredible. But I was so overridden with guilt, it was too much to take. Talking to you about it back then seemed impossible. I thought I'd just break down and tell Eddie everything if I didn't try and forget it. I got over my guilt... eventually, when I found out Eddie had cheated on me. But I still couldn't stop thinking about it. That's all I wanted, was to stop thinking about it so much. I never could."

* * *

_In this dance of old songs,_

_Like time, they go on and on._

_I guess I could learn to do the same._

_I could wake up without you

* * *

_

"If it makes you feel better, I couldn't either." She chuckled.

"Yeah, it helps a little... To be honest, I thought you had forgotten about it."

"How could you think that I'd forgotten about it?"

"Well, you never said anything."

"You didn't either," he retorted.

"I know! I know... I'm sorry. I'm not blaming you, I'm just..." She took a deep breath. "Gil, where do we stand? Right now?"

"Where do you want us to stand?"

"I don't want this to end in disaster," she whispered.

"Catherine, I can't promise that it won't. I can't promise that we aren't going to get hurt and I can't promise that this will last forever. But I can promise that right now, right here, this can work," he told her, grabbing her hand.

* * *

_These two arms not around you_

_Tell myself it's meant to be this way._

_No matter how I try,_

_Some things I can't change.

* * *

_

She stared down at their interlaced fingers and a smile slowly, but surely crept it's way to her face. She looked up into his eyes, the dim sunlight shining through the window and reflecting itself in his eyes.

* * *

_I can't unthink about you_

_I can't unfeel your touch_

_I can't unhear all the words_

_Unsay all the things that used to mean so much

* * *

_

He leaned in and put his lips beside her ear. "I love you," he whispered. He pulled away and saw a big smile on her face.

"You know, I've been waiting a while to hear that."

"I think I know the feeling," he said, leaning in and placing a soft kiss on her lips.

* * *

_I wish I could unremember _

_Everything my heart's been through._

_I'm finding out it's impossible to do._

_Oh, it's not use._

_I can't unlove you.

* * *

_

Maybe, just this once, love could conquer all.

End.


End file.
